specific heat
by thir13enth
Summary: Fire. Water. Steamy. Juvia x Totomaru drabbles. Try it. You might get addicted. I know I am.
1. melt

**Oops. I got sucked into this ship by accident. But like...it's really calling my Zutara feels back, so _of course_ I'm going to write a crap ton of these. That said, get ready if you want to go down with this ship with me. I've never written Juvia or Totomaru before, so wish me luck! (In fact, I didn't even know who the guy was before I saw fanart of this crack ship.)**

 **These are all separate and individual drabbles. They can be connected, if you want them to be. Most of these will take place pre-Phantom Lord arc. Juvia's characterization is quite different then.**

* * *

 **melt**

* * *

Totomaru didn't mind the rain if he meant being under her umbrella.

"Oh, Juvia!" he called out to his fellow Elemental teammate. "Where you going?"

The bluenette spun around and looked at him, her eyes flashing back at him unamused.

Her eyes were dull but for even within the few split seconds she first made contact with him he became frozen in her gaze. True to her nature, the water mage possessed such aqua orbs so deep he was afraid that he'd drown in them, and that she'd swallow his flames whole and breathe him out in a steamy exhale.

The fire mage caught up to her, stepping within her range of pouring rain, leaning forward and tilting his head down to face her. Drip drip drops fell onto the back of his neck, rolling down underneath his shirt and running along his spine, raising shivers over his chilled body.

"Out," she simply replied, unwilling to divulge him in the details—and he shuddered at the coldness of her curt response.

She tamed the passionate fire in his heart in her cool insouciant aura but always always _always_ despite this, he felt so much more in love with her, the slow burning embers of his unrequited feelings growing stronger.

Not hearing a response from him after a few seconds, she then turned her heel, the rain moving on with her.

He watched her walking away for a moment, gradually becoming more aware of his slightly dampened clothes and the draft of chilly wind from her leave.

He chuckled to himself before running up to match her pace and ducking under her umbrella.

It took a couple of steps for him to get into the same rhythm as her but it wasn't long before she relaxed her gait and raised her umbrella up a few inches to accommodate his height.

He turned his head slightly to hide a gentle smile. He knew that she didn't mind when he followed the storm out with her, and he knew that she was still working on getting used to having company and the attention of others that actually cared for her.

And one day he hoped to melt the ice around her heart.

* * *

 **Yay? Nay? Okay? Let me know in the comments below!**

 **thir13enth**


	2. exhaust

**This is written for** dragonshost **in exchange for her caramel recipe and for shipping me with writing and also for** strixsoul **because apparently Jumaru is her OTP so I thought I'd indulge her more. (Although I apologize in advance because I don't think I got what I aimed for in this drabble, haha!)**

 **To Blue Star:** Thank you so much for giving this a try and leaving a review! It means a lot to me when people move out of the their comfort zone, haha. I don't mind if you're just in it for the fluff! And LOL I didn't even know who the hell Totomaru was until I started writing this so no shame there!

 **Everyone, thank you so much for love and kindness! Can I just say that I totally didn't expect to be received at all? T_T You are all the best!**

* * *

 **exhaust**

* * *

She never understands why he always tries to catch her hand when they're out walking together.

But she lets him have her hand anyway, lets him twine his fingers between hers, allows their warm palms to hug and their wrists to kiss. His grip is hot and heavy and she's afraid that her hand will turn to steam.

So they walk—together—and he swings his handful of her back and forth childishly, as if he is proud to be holding her at arm's length, elbow to elbow with a leash made of muscle and bone. She wonders if this so-called connection is what makes him happy, and she wonders why showing the physical attraction even matters when it isn't even real.

But if she ponders much more on it, she realizes that this all actually means something to her, and she had never in her whole life learned how to let any one person waste her mental energy, so she decides not to think too long about it and just let her elemental opposite do as he pleases.

Every now and then he dares to take that hand and press it against his lips. He would look up at her eyes and try to catch her gaze to see her reaction, a sly smirk sliding across the corners of his mouth.

He's searching for the flame behind her cool ocean eyes but the ultramarine won't let the heat reach her pristine mind.

However, the fire mage makes life much more interesting than stitch after stitch of teru teru bozu dolls.

Is it wrong for her to indulge in the game a little bit?

But she doesn't think too long about the answer to this either, and so she glares at him, offers him an icy stare, lets her hand turn tense and stiff in his hands.

She plays dead to his affection. And he seems to become more livened up by it.

His eyes sparkle like sharp obsidian and he chuckles once, never breaking eye contact, laughing a smoky exhale over the back of her hand. He gives her hand back to her, and she quickly snatches it back from him, tucking her hand into the other, still feeling the singe of his kiss on her skin.

It isn't safe to play with fire.

But fuck it. She had water at her side and she could put him out anytime she wanted to.

* * *

 **thir13enth**


	3. feverish

**Meh, don't mind me while I get sucked even further down the rabbit hole with this ship.**

* * *

 **feverish**

* * *

Juvia is never one to stick around in one place.

She comes and goes like the rain and unfortunately for Totomaru, who is head over heels in love with the woman, there is no better metaphor for the water mage.

Or is it a simile?

Fuck it, he dropped out of school to join Phantom Lord anyway.

If there anything higher education taught him, it was that he never wanted to lay foot in a building full of blackboards and chalk dust ever again.

Regardless, he wakes from a light sleep that morning by the sound of soft pitter patter on his window, a sudden change from the constant sha-sha that always echoes through the Phantom Lord guild's building whenever the Rain Woman is around.

At first he hated the fact that Jose had ever recruited the miserable teru teru bozu doll because her weather always made his day literally gloomier. The fire mage is a son of the sun, gifted with a spectrum of flame magic, so he quickly disliked the newest water-elemental member of the guild.

But with a few months later, he was starting to not be able to sleep without hearing the constant thunder outside and he started to see the silver linings behind the storm clouds.

And lucky for him, the come and go of the rainfall is how he knows whether his blue-haired crush is near.

So when the sha-sha turns into pitter patter, he kicks his feet out of his warm covers and looks out the window to search for a pink umbrella in the gray cloud-cast outside, and when he spots her, he steps out his second-floor window, without even closing it back up, and catches up to the cutely dressed bluenette.

She turns around immediately, feeling a strange interruption in her rain, and at the sight of him, her eyes roll.

"Why does Totomaru always follow Juvia around?" she pouts, in her adorable third person.

He gives her a teasing smile. "Toto follows Juvi-chan around because Toto _wants_ to," he says, in the same baby-ish voice.

Her eyes narrow and the tone in her voice suddenly grows an edge. She drops the honorifics.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that you'll catch a cold from being out in the rain?" she scolds.

"Yeah," he agrees, with a smirk. "But she never told me about being lovesick."

* * *

 **Speaking of sick, you sick yet of this ship?**

 **Well, I will go down with this ship, and I will put my hands up and surrender. (white flag) ;)**

 **thir13enth**


	4. mending

**Still catching up on posting all these from tumblr, haha. Don't mind me.**

 **This one is a bit cute and fluffy. I have some angst coming up. Get ready.**

* * *

 **mending**

* * *

She felt his looming body heat over her shoulder before he even said a word.

"Juvia knows Totomaru is behind her," she said, rather indifferently, threading through the white fabric. She pulled her needle well far back into the air behind her, causing the fire mage behind her to step back in order to dodge the sharp instrument.

"And what is Juvi-chan doing?" he teased, coming back close to her ear as she darted the needle back into the fabric.

The water mage sighed, exasperated. "Juvia is making dolls."

"Dolls?" he questioned, suddenly taking the seat in front of her and making himself comfortable, resting his chin on the backs of his hands, his elbows on the small square wooden table. "I didn't peg you as a doll person."

She glanced over at him, looking just beyond her stitching work.

"Juvia isn't making dolls for Juvia," she explained. "Juvia is making dolls for others."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh," he said. "Is there some Phantom Lord fundraising campaign I don't know about?"

The guild _was_ a little low on funds, after all—especially with the new renovations Jose was just _pouring_ into the guild, attaching a Magic Cannon on it and in general making the whole damn building a moving robot, per se.

Juvia didn't return the lightheartedness. "Juvia is making teru teru bozu dolls."

"Teru teru bozu?" he asked, blinking. "You're not a kid anymore. You know the weather doesn't just change because—"

Then he stopped, remembering why Juvia's nickname was Rain Woman.

She dismissed his interrupted sentence, continuing to work on the cloth dolls. "Nobody likes Juvia's rain," she continued. "So Juvia is making teru teru bozu dolls to make the rain go away."

His mouth twisted into a frown and he tried to catch her eyes. "Hey, that's not true," he replied, voice softening. "I like your rain."

She pursed her lips, finally giving him her eyes. "Not everyone is like Totomaru."

They held each other's gazes for a full moment, before she immediately turned back to her stitch work. His eyes turned to the growing number of white ghost-like charms.

She had accumulated 18 by now, and she was currently working on her 19th. It didn't look like she was stopping anytime soon.

"You should be using your time doing better things than this," he told her.

She didn't stop, continuing to push and pull the needle through the fabric, continuing to crease and fold the cloth between her fingers, continuing to tie and wrap the string around the dolls.

"Hey, Juvia, hey," he repeated, with a little more urgency. He reached out and parted her hands from her work, taking both her hands in his.

He looked down at her callused fingers, prickled with red sore spots from continuous threadwork and knot tightening. He then turned his eyes back to hers, and she stared at the vacuous pools of his eyes for a few seconds.

"Let me help you," he said, gently.

It took her a moment, but she finally slowly nodded her head up and down, twice.

"Okay," she said, taking her hands back carefully. He let her fingers slip out of his palms and then picked up a spool of thread, needle, and some starting cloth material of his own.

She returned to working on her own unfinished doll, and as he began to thread, she could have sworn that the rain outside started to soften.

* * *

 **As always, let me know what you think! ;) (lol I actually winked at the screen while typing out that wink-y face.)**

 **thir13enth**


	5. schooling

**I might mention that this might be the steamiest we'll get in this drabble series (thus far).**

 **I mean, what else do you expect when you put fire and water together?**

* * *

 **schooling**

* * *

He is bold and she doesn't expect it.

She barely closes the door behind them before his rough hands circle her waist, his body presses her against the wall, his thigh parts her knees, his lips tackle her.

His fingers slide up her neck and tangle in her hair. He rakes his fingers through her blue tresses and massages her scalp. He tilts her chin up and she feels her jaw fall apart. His tongue doesn't waste time and slowly, oh so slowly, twists around hers, lazily dancing in her mouth.

She gasps. She moans. She can't help it. Her resolve dissolved long ago before she gave him her hips and draped her arms around his neck, and she doesn't regret one second of it.

But she's scared.

She takes a breath, pulls herself an inch apart. Her mouth is still open and she is still panting for air, but she is hesitant.

"I-It's J-Juvia's first time," she admits. "J-Juvia's never b-been with…"

Her voice fades as he traces the edge of her lip with his thumb. He watches the line he draws before he leans forward and kisses her softly.

"That's okay," he growls, his hand running back from her cheek to the back of her head, pushing aside stray bangs.

"Juvia d-doesn't know how to..." she drops off.

But he just smiles before he tucks his lips just underneath her jaw.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you how to deal with fire," he muses into the crook of her neck.

Her breath hitches when he plants his wet mouth over her soft flushed skin. Goosebumps travel up her collarbone to the back of her ear. How could he make her feel so coldcoldcold when he brings his hothothot lips over the juncture where her neck and shoulders connect?

He sucks for just a moment, and her eyes roll backwards. She whimpers and he laughs softly once before pulls away from the wall and lets cool air come between them.

"Well you stop," he explains, hands moving down her shoulders and taking her biceps. He walks backwards, leading her forward.

"…drop…" he continues, letting them fall backwards onto the bed.

"…and roll," he purrs onto her skin before he swings their bodies around and slides himself over her.

* * *

 **thir13enth**


	6. third person

**Hm...not sure how I feel about this one.**

 **Well. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **third person**

* * *

He always thought it cute how she'd slip into old habits and talk in third person.

"Juvia's trying to sound more mature and more like a woman! Juvia isn't a child anymore. Kodomo janai!" she'd retort, flustered, making fists with both hands in some form of a ganbatte for herself—then a moment after, her eyes would widen and she'd flush a pretty pink, cover her mouth in embarrassment of the irony. "—Oh! Juvia messed up again!"

He would give her a teasing but reassuring smile, putting his arm around her shoulder before her into a light squeeze. His lips would come close to her forehead, just hover.

"Nonsense," he'd say. "You don't have to correct your speech. You're already woman enough."

She'd look up at him gratefully for his kind words—and if he was lucky she'd kiss him on the cheek—

"Okay, Toto-san," she'd say, but later that night while strolling down the hallway past her bedroom door, he'd overhear her rehearsing the same line again and again. She'd try to get it right.

"I'm Juvia Lockser. I'm pleased to meet you!"

Who was there to meet? Anyone could see that they were just happy the two of them, right? They were just happy the four of them as Elementals, as S-Class Mages, right? They were just happy all of them as Phantom Lord teammates, right? Nakama was all the needed—blood thicker than water, family warmer than soup, love sweeter than sugar.

She didn't need to be pleased to meet anyone if she didn't want to be. She didn't need to stop calling herself by name if that's how she's most comfortable.

 **...**

He always been the first to notice when she did anything differently than usual.

"What's with the new look, Juvi-chan?" he'd ask.

"Juvia's trying to look more beautiful and more attractive. Juvia doesn't want to be cute anymore. Juvia isn't a child anymore. Kodomo janai!" she'd retort, flustered, concentrating intensely on the mirror in front of her, marking around her fluttering eyelid—then a moment after, her hand would slip over her eyebrow and she'd gasp. "—Oh! Juvia messed up again!"

He'd bend down to pick up the dropped pen of beauty and return it to her, let his fingers brush over hers for a second—but only a second, not any longer.

"Nonsense," he'd say. "You don't have to change how you look. You're already beautiful enough."

She'd look up at him gratefully for his kind words—and if he was lucky she'd give him a brilliant smile—

"Okay, Toto-san," she'd say, but early in the morning while strolling down the hallway past her bedroom door, he'd overhear her clucking her tongue as she tried to get every blue strand on her head perfect. She'd try to get it right.

Who was there to look pretty for? Anyone that looked at her in the eyes could see that she was full of kindness, grace, compassion that outrivaled anyone else's.

She didn't need to curl her hair, buy expensive hats, change her style—impress anyone that didn't already find her impressive. She didn't need to dress herself up like a doll when she was so much more than that.

 **...**

He always comforted her when she came home late at night, tears pooled in her red-rimmed eyes.

"What's wrong?" he'd ask.

She'd shake her head no and wipe her eyes with frustration.

"Juvia is trying to be more mature. Juvia isn't going to cry. Juvia isn't a child anymore. Kodomo janai!" she'd retort, taking a tissue from her pocket, blowing her nose. She'd wipe at her eyes harshly and then become irritated at herself when she sees the mascara on the backs of her hands, having forgotten that she had made herself up earlier that day. "—Oh. I messed up. Again."

And damn those four words that she'd repeat to herself.

"Nonsense," he'd say. "It's okay to be upset. It's okay to cry."

She'd look up at him gratefully for his kind words—and if he was lucky she'd lean into him—

"Okay, Toto-san," she'd say, but every now and then while strolling down the hallway past her bedroom door, he'd overhear her sniffling to herself behind a closed and locked door. She'd keep it to herself.

Who was there to cry about? Anyone that dared to break the smile on her face was probably broken themselves.

She didn't need to be rejected anymore. She's already cried of loneliness and solitude in her past. No one likes to play out in the rain, after all.

Her voice brings him back to the present.

"This is Gray," she tells him.

He can tell by the passion, adoration, and excitement in her voice that this man is the one that brings color to her life.

Totomaru finally looks up from the floor. He meets the other man's icy eyes.

He's not sure if he wants to burn the man alive in flames of hate or finally suffocate his long unrequited flames of love.

"Who's he?" the other man asks.

"Oh, he's just a friend," she says, turning to him. "You don't mind if he comes along, do you?"

He isn't sure when he started becoming the third person.

He doesn't remember when she stopped calling him by name.

* * *

 **End Notes (more like a rant):** This might read as an anti-Gray story, but I want to clarify that this is definitely not the message that I was trying to address in this piece. So I'll try to talk about it as briefly as I can, as the writer of this piece.

What happens in this story can definitely be interpreted in a number of different ways, and I leave it vague and up to you for good reason. However, the one thing that I do want to get across is that this story is much more about the societal pressures for women (I only address one cisgender here, yes. I know there's many other types of pressures.) to impress the man than it is about anti-Gray-ness. This story is written in Totomaru's POV, and he more or less pins the blame on Gray because Gray is the most obvious external factor for Juvia's development in this story.

I know there's a lot of dislike of Juvia running in the fandom because she's "Gray-centric." I'm not here to debate whether she does or doesn't because I don't think it's a straight yes or no, but I think in that context, it's worth thinking of how many other shows have female characters who pine and wait for men to accept them or return their feelings, or at least notice them—and that's all I'll expand on this.

I don't think I have much more to say than this. Like I said, I wrote this without much definition, so feel free to apply your thoughts to this! And I love to hear what you think either in the reviews or through PMs. Talk is good. :)

 **thir13enth**


	7. quench

**notes:** Bleh, I randomly found this unfinished snippet of a thought. I completely forgot where I wanted to go with it, but I tried to pick it up again, so shrugs. It's kinda just experimental word vomit, and I don't particularly care for its poetry or prose or whatever hybridness. Forgive me for bending rules.

* * *

 **quench**

 _Their first, second, third, and last kiss._

* * *

Their first kiss

was out by the ocean, umbrella-ed under the starry night. She was hesitant and he wasn't ready but when their experimental lips crashed together, they steamed, they reacted and every chemical seemed to fit together all too naturally. It scared him when he felt her lips drowned him and he had to stop to take a quick breath but he needed her again to tame the fire that welled at the back of his parched throat. So he went again, tasting the salt and the sand and her soft soft lips.

Their second kiss

was inside a smoke-filled room, hazy with the scent of an apple-cinnamon candle flame. She was willing and he was able and when their practiced lips melded together, they dissolved, they thawed into each other's arms and every molecule in their bodies stirred with the same thrum of the moan that emerged from deep within her. He defrosted her inhibitions as his fingers traced hot hot trails over her skin and she broke for a gasp of fresh air but she needed him again before passion consumed her. So she went again, tumbling into the musky sheets of his bed.

Their third kiss

was spent together alone swimming in a hot onsen situated in cold snow. Her laughter bubbled like the geyser spouts of the hot spring as his black-white bangs tickled her left right collarbones, the bristles of his three-days-past shaven jaw trickling down her neck like the drops of cooling water falling from her shoulders to rejoin their chemical cousins. She turned to exhale onto his skin, her hot breath condensing on his cool skin, and she felt him shiver as he caressed her blue blue hair. The surface rippled over them, the water encroaching back forth over their skin, tickling them between hot water, cold air as they synched, breaking the smooth surface with the same waves. Who ever said blood was thicker than water when the steam was simply saturated with their lust?

Their last kiss

was before their mission goodbye.

Her heart stopped—froze—when she found a new face to her liking, and he could feel the chill of her disinterest all the way through to his bones when she turned her head, her eyes focused only ahead into her new future. She found a new family, a new partner, within the brick-red walls of a new home and he found his own distractions as he dedicated himself within the brick-red walls of a classroom.

Now

He wakes up in the dark of the early morning from sudden thunderstorms outside, the rain pattering hard against his window like the gunshot bullets that he sometimes feels in his chest.

He's thirsty and he has no choice but to drag his heavy feet out of his cold bed, walks down the cold dark hallway hearing just the echoes of his weary footsteps and his empty heartbeat.

He fetches a cup of water, pours it to the top.

He raises his lips to the glass, drinks and drinks to the bottom, but finds he is never fully satisfied.

* * *

 **end notes:** I'm posting this about a month after I wrote it, thinking _oh you poor angsty past-self. whatever made you so bitter._

Sigh. Would love to hear your thoughts! Else, I wade in my own.

 **thir13enth**


End file.
